The last few weeks I've been doing a lot of thinking. Reflecting, reliving, and going over things in my mind. Why? Because it's generally about this time of year that everything starts to wind down and I start to think OK what's next?
7th August 2017. It wasn’t any ordinary Monday at the start of August.
It's Wednesday morning and you still have three days alone with your kids before for the weekend, when your husband is home to share the load… but your brain is mush, you haven't slept well this week and you’ve lost control over your temper. What do you do? You need a quick fix.
You can't afford to get a two hour massage, you don't have someone to watch to kids so you can soak in the bath with a glass of wine and it really isn't a good idea to take them with you to get your nails done... you need to do something NOW to lower your stress levels, bring your patience back and give you a minute to have a breather.
Recently I've had a few of my wonderful Mum friends say to me that anxiety is their default setting and it's no bloody wonder a large majority of Mums (and Dads) suffer from anxiety.
The last year 18 months of our lives has been quite challenging as I battled Perinatal Depression and Anxiety following the birth of our second son, and then more recently, my 31 year old husband had a cardiac arrest while at football training, had a two week stay in hospital and had an Automatic Implantable Cardiac Defibrillator put in his chest.
There are a number of lessons I have learnt from struggling through these times that I like to remind myself of when my anxiety starts to flare up. I want to share some of these lessons in the hope that it helps some other people who might be dealing with their own tough times.
Self-care seems to be the new trending word across blogs at the moment, but it really is vital to maintaining your physical and mental health. Whether you’re a new Mum or Dad, don’t have kids, or are an empty-nester. Taking care of yourself first is so important in making sure you have the energy, both physical and mental to be able to give your best at work, at home, to your kids, in your marriage or anywhere really.
These two knuckleheads....
They are my challenge and my reward.
My test and my answer.
My growth and my decline.
But I'll take all the bad days, because I now know they came as a package deal with good days.
I need the bad days to know how good I really have it.
My whole life, I never quite understood what anxiety was. When people would say they were anxious about something I was that person innocently saying 'just don’t worry about it'.
Little did I know that is one of the worst things you can say to someone in the middle of an anxious episode. ‘If we could not worry we wouldn’t worry!!’
So when I began to experience anxiety prior to and following the birth of my second son, I didn’t know what was happening!!
I am trying to teach myself that done is better than perfect. I have held onto half finished projects and not finished them because I didn't think I could get them perfect, I have not posted blog ideas because I didn't think I could write it best, and I have not worn clothes because I didn't think it looked perfect.
So I am trying to break up with perfect!
Kate Made It
Hi! I’m Kate, a stay at home Mum, crochet addict and designer, craft lover, Perinatal Anxiety and Depression survivor, PANDA Community Champion & Arbonne Independent Consultant.
Self-care is not selfish. You deserve it and you need it.