I often have people tell me they wish they could crochet and they have tried but just can't quite get the hang of it. My answer is always practice. Half of the battle with crochet is getting your hands comfortable and then the rest flows when you spend some time practicing.
A while back I decided to break up with perfection and I have found a symbol to remind me of that every day.
This is a blanket I am making for my sister-in-law. She sent me a picture of a similar blanket and asked me to recreate it. I love a crochet challenge so I jumped in! Having not done a granny square blanket in a long time I forgot about the dreaded twist you experience when you don't flip the square after each round.
The last year 18 months of our lives has been quite challenging as I battled Perinatal Depression and Anxiety following the birth of our second son, and then more recently, my 31 year old husband had a cardiac arrest while at football training, had a two week stay in hospital and had an Automatic Implantable Cardiac Defibrillator put in his chest.
There are a number of lessons I have learnt from struggling through these times that I like to remind myself of when my anxiety starts to flare up. I want to share some of these lessons in the hope that it helps some other people who might be dealing with their own tough times.
Recently I was given the chance to share my Arbonne journey and how my life has changed because of my Arbonne business, with my team on a training conference call. I received such amazing feedback from the 120 people on the call that I wanted to share my story with you all.
I'm sharing this to show other Mums going through Perinatal Anxiety and Depressions that there is an end to what you're going through. It is temporary. And you might be surprised what it is that helps you out of your fog. So give things a chance! It might be finding a new hobby, a new sport, finding a book that speaks to you, learning how to meditate or meeting a new person. For me it was starting a new business venture!
Self-care seems to be the new trending word across blogs at the moment, but it really is vital to maintaining your physical and mental health. Whether you’re a new Mum or Dad, don’t have kids, or are an empty-nester. Taking care of yourself first is so important in making sure you have the energy, both physical and mental to be able to give your best at work, at home, to your kids, in your marriage or anywhere really.
One thing I found during my experience with Perinatal Anxiety and Depression was that I was the last person on my priority list. My list went:
- Owen & Ethan
- Other family member needs
- House cleaning & chores
Like a lot of Mums, I always felt like I was the last person I could spend time on and only after everyone else was happy. In reality however, life is so much better when you are the first person on your list.
Cont from part 1... here
Creativity helped me get through my last few months of my second pregnancy as I had severe hip and back pain which restricted my walking. In particular crochet, whenever I felt frustrated, anxious or depressed I would sit and crochet. My mind would slow, and my thoughts would only be on what my hands were making. The pattern, the stitches and when it got a bit repetitive, the TV as I stitched.
It has to be said though, I am not artistic. I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler and I’m so average at colouring in it’s embarrassing! But I am creative. I can crochet, I can knit (a little), I can do cross stitch and I am always willing to try a different way of making things.
These two knuckleheads....
They are my challenge and my reward.
My test and my answer.
My growth and my decline.
But I'll take all the bad days, because I now know they came as a package deal with good days.
I need the bad days to know how good I really have it.
Recently I started exercising regularly with a girlfriend. We do pilates at my place on my reformer machine (thanks to my father-in-law) and we go swimming once a week too and just do laps!
We have gone 3 times now and the first time I surprised myself and we think we swam around 1km. The second time I couldn’t get my rhythm right and struggled to get past 1km and was stuffed the whole time. And the third time we went I found my rhythm and we both smashed out a 2km swim in just over an hour.
My whole life, I never quite understood what anxiety was. When people would say they were anxious about something I was that person innocently saying just don’t worry about it.
Little did I know that is one of the worst things you can say to someone in the middle of an anxious episode. ‘If we could not worry we wouldn’t worry!!’
So when I began to experience anxiety prior to and following the birth of my second son, I didn’t know what was happening!!
I am trying to teach myself that done is better than perfect. I have held onto half finished projects and not finished them because I didn't think I could get them perfect, I have not posted blog ideas because I didn't think I could write it best, and I have not worn clothes because I didn't think it looked perfect.
So I am trying to break up with perfect!
Kate Made It
I am Kate, a 32 year old mother of 2 boys, Perinatal Depression and Anxiety survivor, crochet addict and Arbonne Independent Consultant.
Self-care is not selfish. You deserve it and you need it.